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Sunday, 20 May 2012

Well, it has been a busy week, completed the  furniture move around, then finished the Shalom cardigan. Such a contrast from the hexipuffs, large needles and chunky yearn against very fine sock yarn and fine pointed needles that dug into my finger necessitating an elastoplast.

A view of the room from the bed and another from the doorway below..

I am pleased with the cardigan, will need to find a button for the single fastening, once that has happened I will model it and expect criticism, or otherwise, meanwhile here is the garment now it has been pressed.

Although I have hexipuffs to knit on buses, trains and at Home Group, I need to consider another project. There is plenty of yarn hidden away so a decision needs to be made. Maybe a cushion cover, some socks or I have Spud and Chloe yarn to make a cowl. Suspect I won't need a warm cowl if the weather forecast I heard for the rest of the week is correct for it is supposed to be warm. It would be so lovely not to feel chilly all the time and to be able to wear summer clothes for a change.

I have been thinking about how to handle that uncomfortable feeling of knowing that persons in a group situation don't like you. No criticism of the persons concerned, they are pleasant enough on the surface, no actions could be construed as nasty yet is it me that is sensitive to an underlying dislike and irritation that I am around? Do I quit going, but then I lose the friendliness of others in the group; I would never meet it face on as it may be my fault that I don't feel comfortable with some people , indeed do not know what to say to them.

There is a shop where I have the same feelings, the owners are pleasant enough as they need the business but I don't feel comfortable in there, however good the stock is so in future will be going elsewhere so I am not stressed.

We have been to events where, although we know people there, it is clear they would not speak to me, or us, if they could help it. Makes me wonder about continuing to attend one social group for I try to be pleasant to all, whatever I think about them inside my soul.

Perhaps I am better at one off things, like the Who do you think you are Fair at Olympia where nearly every one was a stranger. Not everyone is a people person full of bonhomie, jokes and brilliant repartee, others can be happy with their own company or just one or two close friends. I have to make an effort to go out, mix and socialise, it would be easy and pleasant to stay home, practice the domestic arts, read, knit, in short I could become a recluse, especially whilst Ian is studying.

More philosophical and domestic ramblings next time, meanwhile your thoughts and opinions are so welcome.


  1. The room looks good, as does the cardigan, Madeleine. A busy and productive week.

    You raise an interesting point about the problems with your group. My instinctive reaction would be not to go, but to try to interact with your friends within the group in another context. Perhaps it's a side-effect of getting older and knowing I no longer have all the time in the world, but I'm just not willing any more to put myself into uncomfortable situations and stay there. Life really is too short.

  2. For years I wanted to be liked by everyone. I always tried to be the life and soul of the party, wanting to make people laugh. Nowadays I realise that I don't have to like everyone and it doesn't matter if they do or don't like me. No one has the ability to make me feel bad - I can do that myself. If someone says or does something hurtful I try to let it go and understand that they are the ones who have to live with their actions, not me. I have choices in life and I can chose who I want to be with and, definitely, who I don't want to see. I spend a lot of time in my own company and can live with that. If people shun me when I do go out I try to look at them with compassion - wondering what makes them such miserable so and so s!

  3. As long as you like the majority of that group and feel at ease with them, if I were you, I would not stop going just because you have the impression that a few there don't like you. You said they do not behave nastily towards you, so why stop going? If the pleasure of being in the company of the nice people is outweighed by the uneasiness of being in the company of the less nice ones, then that's another matter.

    I don't know what the room looked like before, but it is definitely a good place to be in now, and I really like the paintbrushes on the window sill.

  4. Just a comment to Librarian, I have looked through my online photos and it would not be kind to post the photos of our daughter's bedroom at the time :)

    On the window cill are some of my knitting needle collection, some in a pipe rack, some in a jug I made. Paint brushes are the preserve of my husband, he attends U3A painting classes.

  5. It isn't easy when you feel uncomfortable with people, but if most of the company are friends, I'd not be put off going. I'm inclined to spend too much time on my own too, and it's not that good for me. It's better to make the effort, makes me happier. I honestly can't think why anyone might not like you though, I think you're lovely. I'm looking forward to seeing you again.